Hello patrons of Cafe Lulu. I have some quick news to deliver. Due to reasons outside of my control (capitalism, needing to work more hours to make rent and pay for groceries), I will be having more sporadic blog posts and will be posting every other Sunday rather than every Sunday. It is with a heavy heart that I inform you that sometimes after I’m done with work, I just want to eat an edible and chill.
I’ve also been a bit busy adjusting to life now that I am no longer Mrs. Worldwide. As soon as I got back home, I was summoned to serve jury duty and it was the most excruciating 8 hours of my life. Being hit by a car comes at #2.
How to be a Decent Human Being in an Exploitative Industry
I’ve been working in restaurants and such since I was 14. My first job was at a Chinese take-out place called Great Wall where I worked on-and-off for about four-ish years. Maybe a little less. I ran Great Wall like the Navy. I took online orders, which back then was via FAX, phone orders, orders made in-person, took credit cards over the phone, gave the correct bags of food to the corresponding customer. I did it all — and in my four-ish years of working there, I probably made a mistake once.
In college, I had a couple of jobs in the service industry.
I made pizzas at a Neapolitan Pizza quick-service restaurant (think Blaze Pizza but more expensive). This job was really fun and chaotic until it wasn’t.
Brief stint as a lemonade-maker for a lady who insisted I drive her car a couple of blocks when I repeatedly told her I didn’t even have my permit. She didn’t care.
Worked night shifts for my college’s film developing and printing studio. This job was really cool actually and I learned a lot about the chemicals.
Helped out two start-ups as a brand ambassador since I lived in a college town with a huge business school (very briefly).
Started out as a cashier at a place called Felipe’s Taqueria for a couple of months and then decided to move to New York. This restaurant was located by Frat Row so it was very difficult due to the clientele.
I like the service industry because it’s fast-paced, interesting, and you almost always get to learn something new every day. There’s something incredibly moving about working in a team when you’re looking out for your coworkers and your coworkers are also looking out for you. I think that’s my favorite element of working a busy day at a restaurant — the strange power of mutual respect.
Now, I occasionally work as a barista at a coffee shop and a hostess at a cocktail bar. Years have passed by and I have definitely grown as an adult in these service positions but some of you bitches haven’t. You treat workers like complete shit. For an easy mnemonic, I have created the I.S.A. system (patent pending), inspired by the D.E.N.N.I.S. system from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. The I.S.A. system (patent pending) was not created for seducing women but romancing restaurant employees with your tact and considerate vibes. And because I don’t have pictures for this system yet, I will just add images of what I’ve been up to since the last Cafe Lulu edition.
Let’s proceed.
It’s important to always greet the employee
Succinctness is low-key preferred (sometimes)
A tip goes a long way
It’s important to always greet the employee.
Yes! This sounds so simple but so many people fail to even acknowledge my presence. Nothing irks me more when someone barks orders at me because they’re in a rush. One “Good Morning” or “Hello” makes the world of a difference. While this might be frowned upon by managers and other members of the hospitality business, I encourage the employee to match the customer’s energy and be as rude back. ‘It’s important to always greet the employee’ is a great rule-of-thumb for any place you go.
Succinctness is low-key preferred (sometimes).
Ok. What does this mean. When ordering anywhere, it’s important to be prepared and get your lines right. We all have things that we need to be doing and it’s extremely frustrating when a customer is holding up the line or using the waiter’s time to decide what they want to get. Be prepared, be ready and be clear. I think asking how their day is going, or any type of appropriate small talk is ok but there is no need to give the employee your life story. We don’t get paid enough unless we asked. I say ‘low-key preferred’ because this is the way I prefer to handle business. I like someone who’s straight to the point and makes my job easy. This does depend on each service worker though. But, a question I do love is “Which one is your favorite, X or Y?” because I love giving out my opinions and recommendations!
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe630186f-b3af-462f-8266-1510f0b3d45c_4032x3024.jpeg)
A tip goes a long way.
Has tipping culture gotten out of hand? Yes, completely. I don’t think you need to tip absolutely everyone because companies need to start paying a livable wage to their employees. However, it is nice to tip on occasions that YOU find necessary. This doesn’t include dining in at restaurants though. You always need to tip at restaurants. This lady once asked me to push her coffee order ahead because she was in a rush. There were at least eight other orders ahead of hers and I replied with “I’ll see what I can do.” Then, I looked at the screen and saw that she didn’t tip.
How are you asking for more when you’re giving nothing? Making a special request and not even having the thought of tipping the employee because they’re doing you a favor is actually quite embarrassing and I felt sorry for her. This last point on the I.S.A. system (patent pending) is dedicated to that dumb bitch. Welcome to your tape. While I worked at the coffee shop, I encountered plenty of people who expected much out of us and never tipped. And were also rude. Pick a struggle please. Also related to tipping, but ‘regulars’ at restaurants and coffee shops are a thing. They are regulars because they compensate accordingly. But most importantly, you gain the ‘regular’ status by being a decent being.
Next time you visit a restaurant, whether sit down or quick-service, let the I.S.A. system (patent pending) serve as your North Star for all things hospitality and service-related. This industry is exploitative and labor-intensive. If you can’t afford to tip as much as you’d like, being respectful is a huge plus. And it’s free!
Club Cafe Lulu
Now introducing C L U B C A F E L U L U !!! The hottest and sexiest online bar known to man. To celebrate the incoming summer season, I will now be adding fun, dance-y songs to the Spotify playlist, Club Cafe Lulu, any time I hear a banger. Please give it a follow on Spotify if you wanna be on the VIP list!
I typically create one long, yearly playlist and just add all types of music but I wanted to create something more curated to get the vibes going. Enjoy d(-_-)b